Refuting
the Myths About Gay Parents
Basing Child Placement Decisions on
Parent's Sexual Orientation Is Bad for Kids
Positions
of Child Welfare Organizations
Summaries
of Leading Research on Gay Parents
In the
fight for LGBT rights, opponents of equality often assert
that gay people are inferior parents. Some rely on hateful,
baseless stereotypes of gay people (e.g. that we are sexual
predators who prey on children or that we lack the stability
needed to raise children). Others merely offer the unsupported
assumption that children need a male and female parent to
develop well. The truth is that twenty-five years of social
science research studying the outcomes of children raised
by lesbian or gay parents uniformly concludes that these
children are just as happy, healthy and well-adjusted as
their peers. This is a solid body of research by respected
psychologists published in top academic journals. Not a
single child development study has found that parental sexual
orientation has any correlation with whether a child develops
healthily.
Making
custody determinations or adoption or foster care placements
based on arbitrary parental characteristics such as sexual
orientation does not serve children’s interests. These
decisions should be based on who is best able to meet each
child’s individual needs.
All
of the major national organizations dedicated to children’s
welfare therefore have come to a professional consensus
that gay people should not be excluded from being considered
as adoptive or foster parents, and that custody and visitation
determinations should not be based on parents’ sexual
orientation. These organizations include the Child Welfare
League of America, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the
American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological
Association, and the North American Council on Adoptable
Children. These groups aren't driven by political beliefs,
but by the goal of promoting children’s well being.
Comprehensive
information on the social science, public policy, and legal
arguments supporting equal treatment of gay parents and
debunking the myths is found in Too
High A Price: The Case Against Restricting Gay Parenting.
Refuting
the Myths About Gay Parents [top]
Argument
#1: Kids are best off in a family with a mother and a father.
Years
of research that compares children raised by heterosexual
couples with children raised by same-sex couples has consistently
shown that children are equally well-adjusted whether they
have two mothers, two fathers, or a mother and a father.
Some
anti-gay activists rely on research showing the benefits
of two-parent families versus single-parent families to
argue that married heterosexual couples provide a better
setting for children than gay couples. But these studies
compare only families with heterosexual parents (single
vs. married) and reach conclusions about the number of parents
(as well as the impact of divorce), not the gender of the
parents. All of the research that compares children raised
by same-sex couples to those raised by male/female couples
shows that the children are equally well-adjusted.
Argument
#2: Gay people cannot provide stable homes.
Not
a single study of families with gay parents has found that
the parents’ sexual orientation correlates with instability.
All of the major child welfare organizations affirm that
gay and lesbian parents are just as likely as heterosexual
parents to provide supportive, healthy homes.
Moreover,
the research on the relationships of same-sex couples shows
that they are just as likely as heterosexual couples to
be healthy, loving, and stable.
Argument
#3: Gay parents molest their children.
The
research has long demonstrated that there is simply no connection
between homosexuality and pedophilia and thus, no basis
for this terrible myth. Indeed, the research shows that
people who are pedophiles often have no sexual interest
in adults, male or female.
Argument
#4: Children raised by gay parents will grow up to be gay.
The
research on adolescent and adult children who were raised
by gay parents shows that, like their peers, the vast majority
grow up to be heterosexual. One study found that while few
of the children of gay parents identified as gay, a larger
minority of children in this group reported being open to
or actually having had a same-sex sexual experience. It
would seem logical that growing up with parents who do not
condemn homosexuality- and openly gay parents presumably
would be among those parents who don’t- would reduce
an individual’s reluctance to acknowledge, accept,
or act upon same-sex sexual desires if they experience them.
Argument
#5: The studies on gay families are flawed and prove nothing.
Given
that there is not a single child development study indicating
that gay parents are less capable parents or that their
children are disadvantaged in any way, anti-gay activists
have resorted to quibbling with the methodology used in
the scientific studies on children of gay parents (all of
which conclude that the children are equally well-adjusted).
They argue that this research should be disregarded because
its methodology is inadequate.
There is no basis for this assertion. Esteemed developmental
psychologists at respected universities around the world
have conducted the body of research on gay parents and their
children. The studies have been published in some of the
most selective academic journals in the field, and thus
were subjected to a rigorous peer review process that ensures
that they meet the expert consensus on accepted scientific
methods. The methods that the anti-gay activists are attacking
are well-accepted social science methods that are routinely
used by researchers in the field of psychology. If their
criticism were valid, most psychological research would
have to be thrown out.
Basing
Child Placement Decisions on Parent’s Sexual Orientation
is Bad for Kids [top]
The
cardinal child welfare principle is that children should
be with the parent or parents who can best meet their needs,
especially in deciding which parent should have custody
of a child, or with whom a child should be placed for adoption
or in foster care. Determining custody or adoption and foster
care placements based on arbitrary factors such as parents’
sexual orientation undermines this goal.
Granting
custody of a child to a heterosexual parent over a lesbian
or gay parent because of the latter’s sexual orientation
means that factors that are important to children’s
well-being are overlooked. For example, in one case, a family
court in Mississippi ordered that a child was to remain
in his mother’s custody rather than his gay father’s
even though the mother’s household with her new husband
was plagued with domestic violence. The court chose the
mother’s home over the father’s safe and stable
home because his father was in a relationship with a man.
In the
adoption and foster care context, excluding potential parents
because of their sexual orientation is especially harmful
to children. In most states, there are many more children
who need families than adults willing to adopt or provide
foster care.
See
AFCARS
Report, the federal government’s annual
numbers on adoption and foster care, and the National
Adoption Information Clearinghouse.
The
shortage of adoptive parents means that some children remain
in foster care for years, some have to be separated from
their siblings in order to be adopted, and some are placed
with individuals who are not well suited to meet their needs.
Many others are never adopted, aging out of the system without
ever getting to have a family of their own. For foster children,
the shortage of caregivers means that some are placed far
away from their biological families, communities and schools,
or in overcrowded foster homes. Some children get no foster
family at all, and instead, spend their childhoods in institutions.
Moreover,
excluding any group of potential adoptive or foster parents—whether
gay people, single people, older people, or any other group—denies
some children the family that is best suited for them. All
children are unique and have different needs. There is not
one type of family setting that is best for all children.
Excluding a group of people from adopting prevents caseworkers
from making the best placements for some children.
The
child welfare profession rejects blanket exclusions of groups
of people because they deny children access to all adults
who are willing and able to take care of them, needlessly
throwing away good potential parents. Instead, the standard
practice in the child welfare field is to do individualized
evaluations of all applicants. This rigorous screening process
ensures that children will only be placed with adults who
are able to provide a safe, nurturing, healthy environment
for a child.
Positions
of Child Welfare Organizations [top]
Because
excluding gay people from parenting is not only unnecessary,
but works against children’s interests, every major
national organization devoted to children’s welfare
opposes restrictions on parenting by gay people. The following
are statements they have issued on the topic:
Child
Welfare League of America
From CWLA's Standards Regarding Sexual
Orientation of Applicants, adopted in 1988:
"Sexual
preference should not be the sole criteria on which the
suitability of adoptive applicants is based. Consideration
should be given to other personality and maturity factors
and on the ability of the applicant to meet the specific
needs of the individual child. The needs of the child are
the priority consideration in adoption.”
“Gay/lesbian
adoptive applicants should be assessed the same as any other
adoptive applicant. It should be recognized that sexual
orientation and the capacity to nurture a child are separate
issues. Staff and board training on cultural diversity should
include factual information about gays and lesbians as potential
adoptive resources for children needing families in order
to dispel common myths about gays and lesbians.”
"Gay
and lesbian applicants should be informed that biological
parents are told about potential adoptive families for their
child, including the sexual orientation of the prospective
adoptive parent(s). Some biological parents may choose not
to consider gay or lesbian families, and agencies usually
follow the expressed wishes of the parent."
North
American Council on Adoptable Children
Policy statement adopted March 14, 1998
"Everyone
with the potential to successfully parent a child in foster
care or adoption is entitled to fair and equal consideration
regardless of sexual orientation or differing life style
or physical appearance."
American
Academy of Pediatrics
Policy statement issued Feb. 4, 2002
"Children
deserve to know that their relationships with both of their
parents are stable and legally recognized. This applies
to all children, whether their parents are of the same or
opposite sex. The American Academy of Pediatrics recognizes
that a considerable body of professional literature provides
evidence that children with parents who are homosexual can
have the same advantages and the same expectations for health,
adjustment, and development, as can children whose parents
are heterosexual. When two adults participate in parenting
a child, they and the child deserve the serenity that comes
with legal recognition.”
"Children
born or adopted into families headed by partners who are
of the same sex usually have only one biologic or adoptive
legal parent. The other partner in a parental role is called
the "coparent" or "second parent." Because
these families and children need the permanence and security
that are provided by having two fully sanctioned and legally
defined parents, the Academy supports the legal adoption
of children by coparents or second parents. Denying legal
parent status through adoption to co parents or second parents
prevents these children from enjoying the psychologic and
legal security that comes from having two willing, capable,
and loving parents.”
American
Psychiatric Association
Fact Sheet on Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Issues
“Many
gay men and women are parents. For example, estimates of
the numbers of lesbian mothers range from 1 to 5 million
and with the number of children ranging from 6 to 14 million.
Most gay parents conceived their children in prior heterosexual
marriages. Recently an increasing number of gay parents
have conceived children and raised them from birth either
as single parents or in committed relationships. Often this
is done through alternative insemination, adoption or through
foster parenting. Numerous studies have shown that the children
of gay parents are as likely to be healthy and well adjusted
as children raised in heterosexual households. Children
raised in gay or lesbian households do not show any greater
incidence of homosexuality or gender identity issues than
other children. Children raised in nontraditional homes
with gay/lesbian parents can encounter some special challenges
related to the ongoing stigma against homosexuality, but
most children surmount these problems."
American
Psychological Association
The APA's resource, Lesbian and Gay Parenting:
A Resource for Psychologists, 1995
"The
results of existing research comparing gay and lesbian parents
to heterosexual parents and children of gay or lesbian parents
to children of heterosexual parents are quite uniform: common
stereotypes are not supported by the data... In summary,
there is no evidence to suggest that lesbians and gay men
are unfit to be parents or that psycho-social development
among children of gay men and lesbians is compromised in
any respect relevant to that among offspring of heterosexual
parents. Not a single study has found children of gay or
lesbian parents to be disadvantaged in any significant respect
relative to children of heterosexual parents. Indeed, the
evidence to date suggests that home environments provided
by gay and lesbian parents are as likely as those provided
by heterosexual parents to support and enable children's
psycho-social growth."
American
Psychological Association and National Association of Social
Workers
Amicus brief in Kimberly Y. Boswell v.
Robert G. Bosell, filed Sept. 1998 in the Court of
Appeals of Maryland.
"[T]here
is no empirical support for any presumption that a gay or
lesbian parent's sexual orientation, or contact with that
parent's same sex partner, is or will be harmful to the
children. Thus, any assumption that restrictions on visitation
are in the best interest of children is contrary to the
relevant scientific research. Visitation decisions should
be made on the basis of individualized, fact-based assessments
without regard to sexual orientation.
"Scientific
research has consistently found that the sexual orientation
of parents is not a predictive factor as to the parenting
ability of those parents or the psychological and social
development of their children. There is no empirical basis,
therefore, to presume that restricting visitation by a gay
or lesbian parent is necessary to promote the best interests
of a child. Two decades of scientific investigation have,
in fact, provided considerable evidence for the opposite
conclusion: that children who retain regular and unrestricted
contact with a gay or lesbian parent are as healthy psychologically
and socially as children raised by heterosexual parents,
and that the parenting skills of gay fathers and lesbian
mothers are comparable to their heterosexual counterparts.
Further, there is evidence that including the gay or lesbian
parent's partner in the child's life may generally have
a positive effect."
Summaries
of Leading Research on Gay Parents [top]
These
summaries provide the main findings of the leading social
science studies focused on gay parents and their children.
See Too
High A Price for further information on
the research studies of LGBT families.
Experience
of Parenthood, Couple Relationship, Social Support, and
Child-Rearing Goals in Planned Lesbian Mother Families
Henny
M.W. Bos, Frank van Balen, Dymphna C. van den Boom
This
study focused on whether lesbian couples with children differ
from heterosexual couples with children, in terms of parenting
competence, burdens, stress, parenting justification, relationship
satisfaction, division of labor, use of social support,
and the child rearing goals of conformity and autonomy.
No differences were found with respect to most of these
factors. However, there were some differences: among the
lesbian couples, there was more sharing of family responsibilities
and, thus, more satisfaction with their partners then among
the heterosexual couples; the lesbian mothers found children’s
conformity to social expectations less important than heterosexual
parents did; and lesbian non-biological mothers shared greater
need to justify the quality of their parenting than did
heterosexual fathers. Journal of Child Psychology and
Psychiatry 45:4 (2004), pp. 755-764.
Family
Functioning in Lesbian Families Created by Donor Insemination
Katrien
Vanfraussen, Ingrid Ponjaert-Kristoffersen, Anne Brewaeys
This
study compared the relationship between parent and child
in heterosexual and lesbian families in the following categories:
parent participation in child activities, general conversations
between parent and child, emotional issues, affection, quarrels/disputes,
and authority. This study found virtually no differences
in how parents and children in each group perceived the
quality of their relationships with one another. One of
the differences between the two types of families was that
the biological and non-biological mothers in the lesbian
families shared parental responsibilities for their child
more equally than in heterosexual families. American
Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 0002-9432, January 1, 2003,
Vol. 73, Issue 1
What
Does It Mean for Youngsters to Grow up in a Lesbian Family
Created by Means of Donor Insemination?
K.
Vanfraussen, I. Ponjaert-Kristoffersen & A. Brewaeys
This
study explored how children from lesbian families created
by donor insemination presented their non-traditional family
to their peers, whether these children were teased or harassed
about their parents’ sexual orientation, and whether
introducing a non-traditional family to their peers affected
their psychological well being. The study found that these
children were not more likely to be teased than children
of heterosexual families, but if teased, it was more likely
to be family-related teasing incidents. Moreover, introducing
their non-traditional family to their peer group did not
interfere with their psychological well being; in fact,
children from both groups of families had equally good self-esteem
and felt equally accepted by their peers.
Journal
of Reproductive and Infant Psychology,
Vol. 20, No. 4, 2002.
Parenting
Behaviors of Homosexual and Heterosexual Fathers
Jerry J. Bigner and R. Brooke Jacobsen
This study investigated parenting behaviors in heterosexual
and gay fathers. Gay fathers did not differ significantly
from heterosexual fathers in terms of overall parental involvement,
intimacy, and parenting skills. There were some differences
between the groups in approaches to parenting; for example,
gay fathers tended to be more communicative with their children
and to enforce rules more strictly. 1989. Journal of
Homosexuality, Vol. 18, pp. 173-186.
Adult
Responses to Child Behavior and Attitudes Toward Fathering:
Gay and Non-Gay Fathers
Jerry J. Bigner, R. Brooke Jacobsen
This study found no differences between parenting behaviors
and attitudes about fathering between gay and heterosexual
fathers. 1992. Journal of Homosexuality, Vol. 23,
No. 3, pp. 99-112.
Donor
Insemination: Child Development and Family Functioning in
Lesbian Mother Families
A. Brewaeys, I. Ponjaert, E.V. Van Hall, and S. Golombok
This study found that children in lesbian mother homes were
as positive and healthy as children in homes headed by a
mother and a father. Researchers compared children of lesbian
couples conceived via donor insemination, children of heterosexual
couples conceived via donor insemination, and children of
heterosexual couples who conceived conventionally. Overall,
lesbian non-biological mothers were found to have better
relationships with their children than the heterosexual
fathers. No differences were found between the three groups
of children. 1997. Human Reproduction, Vol. 12,
No. 6, pp. 1349-1359.
Division
of Labor Among Lesbian and Heterosexual Parents: Associations
with Children's Adjustment
Raymond W. Chan, Risa C. Brooks, Barbara Raboy, and Charlotte
J. Patterson
This study found that lesbian couples and heterosexual couples
reported even splits of household labor and decision-making.
In the area of childcare, the heterosexual couples had a
less equal distribution of responsibilities, with the mothers
generally taking a larger role. There were no differences
between the groups of children in their social adjustment
with peers. 1998. Journal of Family Psychology,
Vol. 12, No. 3, pp. 402-419.
Psychosocial
Adjustment among Children Conceived via Donor Insemination
by Lesbian and Heterosexual Mothers
Raymond W. Chan, Barbara Raboy, and Charlotte Patterson
This study found that the sexual orientation and relationship
status of parents had no significant impact on the psychological
well being of their children. Rather, children were impacted
by other factors, such as parents' psychological well being
and parenting stress—neither of which had anything
to do with sexual orientation. 1998 (April). Child Development,
Vol. 69, No. 2, pages 443-457.
Lesbians
Choosing Motherhood: A Comparative Study of Lesbian and
Heterosexual Parents and Their Children
David K. Flaks, Ilda Ficher, Frank Masterpasqua, Gregory
Joseph
This study found that children of lesbians and children
of heterosexuals were equally healthy in terms of psychological
well-being and social adjustment. The lesbian mothers were
found to have more developed parenting awareness skills
than the heterosexual parents. 1995. Developmental Psychology,
Vol. 31, No. 1, pp. 105-114.
Children
in Lesbian and Single-Parent Households: Psychosexual and
Psychiatric Appraisal
Susan Golombok, Ann Spencer, and Michael Rutter
This study found no significant differences between children
raised by lesbians and children raised by single heterosexual
mothers on measures of emotions, behavior, and relationships
with peers. Also, no differences were found in terms of
their gender identity or gender behavior. 1983. Journal
of Child Psychology, Vol. 24, No. 4, pp. 551-572.
Adults
Raised as Children in Lesbian Families
Fiona Tasker and Susan Golombok
This study found no significant difference between children
raised by lesbian parents and those raised by heterosexual
parents in the quality of the young adults' relationships
with their mothers, in incidences of teasing or bullying
in high school, or in their emotional well-being. No differences
were found in the proportion of each group that reported
experiencing sexual attraction to someone of the same sex,
though the children of lesbians were more likely to act,
or consider acting, on those attractions. 1995. American
Journal of Orthopsychiatry, Vol. 65, No.2, pp.203-215.
Do
Parents Influence the Sexual Orientation of Their Children?
Findings From a Longitudinal Study of Lesbian Families
Susan Golombok and Fiona Tasker
This study found that there was no significant difference
in the number of self-identified lesbian and gay young adults
from lesbian-headed families and from heterosexual-headed
families. Similarly, no significant difference was found
between the two groups in those who reported experiencing
same-sex attraction. Daughters of lesbians, however, were
significantly more likely to report being open to same-sex
attractions or relationships. Children of lesbians were
significantly more likely to have had a same-sex sexual
experience. 1996. Developmental Psychology, Vol.
32, No. 1, pp. 3-11.
Lesbian
Mothers and Their Children: A Comparison with Solo Parent
Heterosexual Mothers and Their Children
Richard Green, Jane Barclay Mandel, Mary E. Hotvedt, James
Gray, Laurel Smith
This study found that children of lesbians and children
of heterosexual single mothers show no differences in gender
identity and social adjustment with peers. Some differences
were detected in gender behavior: daughters of lesbians
were found to be less confined in their choices by stereotypical
notions of feminine- and masculine- appropriate behavior.
Some significant differences were detected between the mothers
themselves. Lesbian mothers had higher levels of self-confidence
and sought more leadership roles, while the heterosexual
mothers had lower self-confidence and sought subordinate
roles. 1986. Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol.
15, No. 2, pp. 167-185.
Gay
and Lesbian Parents
Mary B. Harris and Pauline H. Turner
This study found no significant parenting differences between
gay and lesbian parents and their heterosexual counterparts.
1985-86. Journal of Homosexuality, Vol. 12, No.
2, pp. 101-113.
Children's
Acquisition of Sex-Role Behavior in Lesbian-Mother Families
Beverly Hoeffer
This study found no significant differences between the
gender behavior of children of lesbian and heterosexual
mothers. It also found that lesbian mothers were significantly
more likely to prefer that their kids play with a more equal
mix of masculine and feminine toys, while heterosexual mothers
tended to prefer that girls play with stereotypically feminine
toys and boys play with stereotypically masculine toys.
1981. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, Vol.
51, No. 3. pp. 536-544.
Children
of Lesbian Mothers
Mary E. Hotvedt and Jane Barclay Mandel
No significant differences were found between children of
divorced lesbian and heterosexual mothers in terms of general
well being and relationships with peers. There were no differences
between boys in terms of gender behavior, but daughters
of lesbians tended to have preferences in play and career
choice that were not confined by traditional notions of
female toys and occupations. 1982. Homosexuality, Social,
Psychological, and Biological Issues, edited by W.
Paul. Sage: Beverly Hills, CA.
A
Comparative Study of Self-Esteem of Adolescent Children
of Divorced Lesbian Mothers and Divorced Heterosexual Mothers
Sharon L. Huggins
This study found no significant difference between the self-esteem
of children with heterosexual mothers and children with
lesbian mothers. 1989. Homosexuality and the Family,
edited by F.W. Bozett. Haworth: New York.
The
Children of Homosexual and Heterosexual Single Mothers
Ghazala Afzal Javaid
Significantly more lesbian mothers than heterosexual mothers
expressed willingness to accept their child if he or she
later came out as gay. No differences were found between
children in terms of gender identity or sexual orientation.
1993. Child Psychiatry and Human Development, Vol.
23, No. 4, pp. 235-248.
Lesbian
Mothers and Their Children: A Comparative Survey
Martha Kirkpatrick, Catherine Smith, and Ron Roy
This study found no difference between children of lesbian
mothers and children of single heterosexual mothers in psychological
well-being or gender behavior. 1981 (July). American
Journal of Psychiatry, Vol. 51, No. 3, pp. 545-551.
Heterosexual
and Homosexual Mothers' Self Described Sex-Role Behavior
and Ideal Sex-Role Behavior in Children
Sally L. Kweskin and Alicia S. Cook
This study found that a mother's gender behavior—not
her sexual orientation—may be a more important influence
on her children's gender identity. 1982. Sex Roles,
Vol 8., No. 9, pp. 967-975.
Families
and Parenting: A Comparison of Lesbian and Heterosexual
Mothers
Kevin F. McNeill, Beth M. Rienzi, and Augustine Kposowa
This study found that lesbian and heterosexual mother groups
did not differ significantly in relationships with their
children, parenting practices, and overall family stress.
1998. Psychological Reports, Vol. 82, pp. 59-62.
The
Child's Home Environment for Lesbian vs. Heterosexual Mother:
A Neglected Area of Research
Judith Ann Miller, R. Brooke Jacobsen, Jerry J. Bigner
This study measured the way lesbian and heterosexual mothers
responded to a variety of situations involving their children.
It found that lesbian mothers were significantly more likely
to respond in a child-oriented way (oriented more towards
helping the child understand the situation) than the heterosexual
mothers who responded in more task-oriented ways (simply
disciplining the children without explaining why). 1981
(Fall). Journal of Homosexuality, Vol. 7, No. 1,
pp. 49-56
Children
of the Lesbian Baby Boom: Behavioral Adjustment, Self-Concepts,
and Sex Role Identity
Charlotte Patterson
This study found that children of lesbian mothers did not
differ from other children in the areas of psychological
well-being, social adjustment with peers, and gender behavior.
The children of lesbian mothers had two differences: they
tended to have both a higher stress level and a higher sense
of well being. 1994. Lesbian & Gay Psychology: Theory,
Research, and Clinical Applications, edited by B. Green
and G.M. Herek. SAGE: Thousand Oaks, California.
Psychological
Health and Factors: The Court Seeks to Control in Lesbian
Mother Custody Trials
Catherine Rand, Dee L. R. Graham, and Edna I. Rawlings
This study found no significant differences between lesbian
mothers and other mothers in psychological health. It also
found that divorced lesbians tend to have a better level
of mental health if they are open about their sexuality
to their children and former husband. 1982 (Fall). Journal
of Homosexuality, Vol. 8, No. 1, pp. 27-39.
Rozzie
and Harriet? Gender and Family Patterns of Lesbian Coparents
Maureen Sullivan
This study investigated the relationships of lesbian couples
who have children and the way these women share responsibilities.
The study found that most of the couples share responsibility
in more egalitarian ways than the stereotypical, nuclear
family model, but the author did not study any heterosexual
parents. 1996 (December). Gender & Society,
Vol. 10, No. 6, pp. 747-767.
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