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Protect Your Relationship
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Nowhere in the
United States do lesbian and gay relationships get the same
recognition that married couples do. Massachusetts, which
allows gay people to marry, and Vermont, which has civil unions,
come close, but the federal government doesn't recognize these
relationships. California and Hawaii have systems that recognize
same-sex couples but fall short of equal treatment. Various
cities, towns, and employers grant some limited recognition
to same-sex couples.
That means the host of rights and benefits that most married couples enjoy -- from hospital visitation rights and inheritance rights to tax benefits and family discounts at amusement parks or health clubs -- aren't available to many same-sex couples.
Fortunately, there are legal documents available to everyone
that can at least help you protect your joint assets and dictate
who you want to make important medical and other decisions
in the event of death or disability.
While planning for such situations is relatively easy and inexpensive, taking the time and effort to legally protect your relationship is something that many couples put off. It can be a very difficult topic to think about, much less discuss with your partner. All too often, planning for death or illness is an issue many couples choose to ignore until it's too late. But like many difficult tasks, once you've made the effort to put everything in order, there's a tremendous sense of relief in knowing that you and your partner will be protected in the event of an emergency or accident.
Although it is possible to draft your own legal documents, the law can be confusing and varies considerably from state to state. For wills, it is especially important that you follow the law exactly. A simple mistake, like failing to get signatures from the required number of witnesses, can make the whole document invalid. For that reason, we strongly advise that you consult a lawyer for help. We have provided a list or resources to help you find a lawyer in your area.
Before you consult with an attorney, it's important to discuss together the rights, responsibilities and obligations you are comfortable legally requiring of each other. The following is a list of issues to consider prior to the first appointment with your attorney:
- What property do you own, both separately and jointly?
- If you have life insurance, pension plans and other retirement savings plans, have you declared a beneficiary?
- Who would you like to provide for after you've passed away?
- Who would you want making important medical decisions on your behalf should you become incapacitated?
After you've answered these questions, you're ready to schedule an appointment with your lawyer. You'll want to bring any important paperwork such as deeds and titles with you. Remember you're the client. Ask questions and don't agree to anything until you clearly understand what you're doing. If you and your partner haven't come to an agreement on all issues, it doesn't matter. Take care of what you have agreed upon now and deal with the other matters when you're ready.
>> Next: Last Will and Testament
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