Someone who knows you, someone you care about. You can talk to your parents or grandparents, your children, your best friend, a teacher, a classmate, a coworker . . . anyone. The key is to talk about it.
OK, I want to talk to someone about why marriage for same-sex couples is important, but how do I bring it up?
Sometimes it can be hard to get a conversation about marriage started, especially with someone who you think might be resistant to discussing it. Every time there is something in the paper or on the news about marriage, you have an opportunity to start a conversation. Of course, saying, "Hey Rhonda, do you think it's fair to deny same-sex couples the protections of marriage?" will get the ball rolling if you're at a loss for how to begin.
What should I say? The following are a few good points to make:
Marriage is a commitment. It is about sharing, love, trust, and compromise. Two adults who make this personal choice to form a life-long commitment should not be denied the right to marry just because they are gay or lesbian.
Lesbian and gay Americans are American citizens who pay taxes and protect our communities as fire fighters, police officers, and by serving in the military, and therefore desire the same rights and protections as other Americans.
Denying gay couples the right to legally marry takes away legal rights in pensions, health insurance, hospital visitations, and inheritance that other long-term committed couples enjoy. We should end this discrimination.
While civil unions are a meaningful step toward ending discrimination against gay and lesbian couples, they fall short of true equality by setting up a separate category of rights and protections for gay and lesbian couples.
Today we look back on the time when many Americans did not tolerate marriage between Catholics and Protestants, or between blacks and whites, with disbelief. Unfortunately, our laws continue to deny the right to marry to adults just because they are gay or lesbian.
We are not asking people to change their religious beliefs. There are many things about modern society that religious organizations do not endorse. For example, we did not ask the Catholic church or other religions to accept divorce or birth control when they became legal in this country.
Things to keep in mind when talking about marriage for same-sex couples:
Avoid using "gay marriage" whenever possible. This implies you are talking about a new or different kind of marriage, which can turn people off and doesn't accurately describe what gay and lesbian couples are seeking. Simply use the term "marriage," or "marriage for same-sex couples" if you need to describe it further.
Talk about fairness, not equality. You'll be more persuasive for people who don't actually believe same-sex relationships are equal to heterosexual relationships. Many people were raised thinking gay people didn't have relationships, and have little interaction with real gay people. But you don't have to agree that same-sex couples and heterosexual couples are "the same" to think it is wrong to treat committed couples as strangers. Talk about what is fair.
Talk about the protections, not the benefits, of marriage. There are thousands of protections that go with marriage, some more crucial to life than others. Being able to make medical decisions for your partner, the ability to hold onto your property in the event of their death, and other similar protections of marriage are extremely important to same-sex couples, and to call them "benefits" can trivialize their meaning.
