6 South Carolina Legislators Want Same-Sex Marriages to Be Called 'Parody Marriages'

Sometimes legislators do something so discriminatory and full of hate that it’s hard to believe someone isn’t trying to pull your leg. But six Republican legislators in South Carolina last week introduced legislation that would define any marriage not between a man and a woman as a “parody marriage.” And they’re deadly serious.

On Feb. 15, Reps. Steven Long, Bill Chumley, Mike Burns, John McCravy, Josiah Magnuson, and Rick Martin introduced the “Marriage and Constitution Restoration Act” in the South Carolina House of Representatives. The bill uses the terms “marriage” and “parody marriage” to redefine what unions the state would recognize. “Parody marriage,” the legislation says, “means any form of marriage that does not involve one man and one woman.”

The bill is unconstitutional on its face, and the legal analysis it employs is absurd. It relies partly and mistakenly on the Establishment Clause of the Constitution, which states that “Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion.” Under the Establishment Clause, a secular law means one that is nonreligious while a nonsecular one would be religious in nature. Here’s where things get absurd. According to these representatives, same-sex marriage is religious because all LGBTQ individuals are members of the “religion of Secular Humanism.” Therefore, same-sex marriage is nonsecular and thus a “parody marriage” that the state of South Carolina would no longer recognize if the bill passed.

This isn’t a joke.

The legislation also neglects to define the term parody. According to Merriam Webster, a parody is “an imitation of the style of a particular writer, artist, or genre with deliberate exaggeration for comic effect." The use of the term by the lawmakers seems to suggest that same-sex marriages are for comic effect. But the only “comic effect” here is that the authors actually introduced this bill, with this language, in 2018.

The legislators, however, go further. Same-sex marriage, they believe, was the opening “Secular Humanists” needed “to infiltrate and indoctrinate minors in public schools to their religious world view which is questionably moral, plausible, obscene, and is not secular.” If you’re going to introduce such a hateful piece of legislation, you might as well go all the way and throw in some paranoid conspiracy theories, too.

Even if this absurd piece of legislation were to pass the South Carolina legislature, the courts would strike it down as unconstitutional. Marriage equality is settled law, and was upheld by the Supreme Court in 2015. Some lawmakers in South Carolina can’t handle that, and by engaging in this legislative stunt, they are making a parody of themselves.

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Bob Pacl

Do you think it's all that lead left over from the Civil War that has leached into the brains of these mentally challenged retrogressives?

Dr. Timothy Leary

What do you expect from a state whose state flag looks like something you would see in a Muslim country.

Matt

Not fair dude. I'm progressive and from the deep south. Assholes are everywhere, but so is kindness!

Anonymous

You comment helped no one.

Anonymous

Your comment helped me by bringing humor to my soul

Anonymous

Did them mean equal as in parity? They probably can't spell in them thar parts.

J. Hopewell

I am trying to pick my favorite part. I think it's the part where they tried to use the Establishment Clause here, but it's only barely edging out repeatedly calling Secular Humanism a religion.

Anonymous

Not everyone in these United States agreed with the passage of man's marriage definition. Marriage is between one man and one woman according to the ONE who created marriage in the first place. Biblical, holy matrimony is a vow/ commitment to God and your spouse to be faithful, committed, and honoring the vow no matter what hardship may come. Those making a mockery of God's determination of what marriage is, don't necessarily believe in obeying their Creator, so why not call what two people of the same gender cohabitating as husband and wife a parody? In fact, it's actually called sin.

Anonymous

The "one-man, one-woman" line is actually the liberal wing of the Judeo-Christian faith. The Old Testament allowed polygamy and even incest. Mormons are more conservative than most American Christians. To be a real Christian Conservative the groom's parents are also supposed to trade livestock for the bride (cows, sheep, goats, etc). Those damn Liberals talking one-man, one-woman!

Anonymous

It actually doesn't matter if you agree with it or not. Too bad.

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