North Carolina: Let Me Take Care of My Son

I live in Greensboro, North Carolina, with my family. My wife, Megan, and I flew to Texas to meet our son, Jax, over 4 years ago, who is now 6 ½. We have raised him to understand that his moms love him and would do anything for him.

But Megan is his only legal parent.

Jax has cerebral palsy, so he takes a lot of extra care. If I were allowed a legal relationship with my child, which I currently do not under North Carolina State Law, I would better be able to provide the safety that all parents want for their children.

When we took Jax home from his foster home, we promised to provide the best life for him that we possibly could, but much of his equipment is denied from Medicaid. If I were legally Jax's parent, I would be able to provide secondary insurance through my employment. For example, he has been training to use a power wheel chair which Medicaid finally approved after several denials. It's been over a year, and it is still on order. His current wheelchair still needs repairs and modifications as he grows, which Medicaid will no longer cover, even though we don't have his new chair. If Jax were able to be covered under my insurance, we would have access to maintenance and other equipment that he needs to help him grow, be more independent, and be in less pain.

Megan and I were legally married in Massachusetts, but our home state does not recognize our marriage. If North Carolina would only legally recognize what our community already does, they would see us as a loving couple, who've made a lifetime commitment not only to each other, but to our son.

The fact that our state does not provide the security of marriage or adoption for us as a same-sex couple leaves us vulnerable to uncertainties that no family should have to feel. We are honored to stand before the court as plaintiffs in this case because we feel as though we are one of many families across this great state who want to provide care to our loved ones.

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This story doesn't add up my thoughts it's fabricated.How does a woman adopt or get a kid from foster care if she isn't able to take care of the kid by herself without the kid being on medicaid? That would be like a bum off the streets going into a foster care place and say I want a kid can't take care of him but dammit I want one!


Very well written and I can feel y'all's love for each other and him flowing through your words!


Good luck on your case. I sincerely hope you win.

Marie Drake

I first want to express my overwhelming happiness that you have such a beautiful family. I also want to thank you for being open, loving souls, enough to raise your son with special needs. However, I do want to mention something that might need to be looked into. My mom was applying for insurance for herself and my sister, who also has Cerebral Palsy. She was told that under the new healthcare law, people that qualify for medicaid cannot be covered under secondary insurance. Now I am not sure if this is 100% true, but that's what the healthcare marketplace told her. I wish you all the best.


Just curious... if one parent's income qualifies for Medicaid but the other parent has access to better benefits, why wouldn't the parent who is better able to provide medical care be the one to legally adopt a child with cerebral palsy? Anyway, it's a shame that NC is letting little Jax suffer!! It's disgusting that Medicaid could deny him the equipment he needs.


adopters can Love their adoptee Children.

the ACLU might have thought they were the Lawyers of Love, but couldn't all criminal babies be saved and Loved by their Adopters, except pregnancies that threaten the health of the mother.

Kenwa d'Arc
Tea Party Democrat


i have just returned from a long PTSD trip where i was genocidal against bigotted heterophobes, were i have relearned the ways of Love of Acceptance of Condonence of Homosexual and Bisexual Practices.

it turned out that homosex is better than beastiality because all genders' homosexual practices can be alotted to better designed males and females.

Kenwa d'Arc

you know, some day i will be rich enough to buy aire time and campaign for a proper gay or straight science to earrings.

one ear with an earring indicates liking a woman.

two ears with earrings imply liking a man.

men with two ears with earrings is a current gay, liking promiscuous men.

women with one earring is current lesbian, liking promiscuous women.

bisexuals use homosexual notation.

try to limit your bruising of homosexuals to slapping them on the wrist when they molest flirt you. do not make this a yellow star.

"Is this heaven...

By this example, if I (woman) get married to a guy while visiting MA, then come home to NC, does that make my marriage invalid? Would I have to get remarried in NC for NC to recognize it? Makes no sense...even a contract written and signed in one state is valid in another unless the second state specifically excludes it. Not recognizing the marriage is a rebuff to the family and to the citizens in MA. It would be nice if the ACLU could fight for a federal statute stating once married legally in one state, the marriage is valid throughout the U.S.

I may not fully understand the dynamics of the LGBT communities, but I do know it does not effect my life in any significant way and I know they not going to go away now that it has become more socially acceptable. Besides, If you love someone enough to make the commitment for life, then why does it matter if they are of the same sex? If it is because the bible says so, it is an invalid argument because it would be the state recognizing certain religious opinions and considering them factual rather than faith-based. If you remove the religious opinions from consideration, as the Constitution demands, then where do we stand?

All I know is that this couple should not have to consider moving to Iowa or Massachusetts in order to get the help they need for their son and to recognize the marriage (it is a full marriage in IA versus a civil union.) I will have to say that Iowa is a pretty good place to live if you can deal with the snow in the winter.

John Allen Shaw

Apparently, as well-intended as this couple is, whites should be made to undergo a thorough regime of cultural education classes before being allowed to adopt the kid of another culture.


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