Our colleagues at the Drug Policy Alliance have been hard at work formulating a remedy for the Chronic Re-Election Paranoia (CREEP) syndrome that has befallen so many of our elected officials. After years of arduous research and painstaking clinical trials they’ve finally hit upon a failsafe solution: Incarcerex!
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Incarcerex delivers fast-acting relief to politicians plagued by sagging polls, instantly imprisoning scores of non-violent offenders in the name of the drug war and persuading voters that we’re tough on crime. But make sure to read the fine print, “If you’re trying to balance the budget, keep families together or protect human rights, Incarcerex might not be right for you.”